Managing Reactions gives Freedom
One day a friend of mine was narrating how he had one of the worst days of his life where he nearly lost his job. It goes something like this… He was preparing his tea in the morning, and as he was going to the table with that hot cup of tea, he did not notice his wife’s cat shot by from under the table. Obviously startled by that, the hot cup of tea fell on his office trousers. It so happened his wife walked in at that moment. She was busy preparing the lunch boxes for the kids.
He immediately screamed at her for bringing that useless cat home. Now he had to go iron another pair of trousers for work, as there was an important presentation at work that day.
Being in a foul mood he could not find a suitable pair of pants and he kept screaming at his wife for not doing the washing, etc. She in turn started shouting at her two boys for taking time with their breakfast, as she had to clean up and go to work as well. Each time he would shout at her, she would shout at the boys, “you have not done your bed… the room is a pigsty… your earlier lunch is still there, etc.”
He finally huffed and puffed and kept shouting at everyone about how he was late due to the cat and how he had told that he doesn’t want an animal in the house, etc…Throughout the ride to the school the atmosphere in the car was either of an ere negative silence or if something was said it would be a scolding or a sarcastic comment.
The boys obviously reacted by showing an attitude by banging the car door as a sign of their discontentment. Even that spread more negative energy in the car between husband and wife. Since they were late to leave home that morning, they obviously met the rush hour traffic. As a result he was getting delayed even further. All this was working on his mind and his conversations with his wife sounded increasingly like World War III, where she felt he had no right to blame her for his sloppiness and that she was equally busy too.
After leaving her to work my friend had some time to himself but the traffic was really building stress in him. Finally, he reached work only half an hour before his meeting. As he was getting ready for it he realized that he had forgotten to save the updated file which he had worked on in the morning. Needless to say that realization shattered whatever little poise he had left. As a result, the meeting was less effective and hence his boss wasn’t at all impressed with him and threatened to relieve him from his duties.
I was so surprised to hear this story because I knew the person to be a positive man of great achievement. He then told me what he learnt from the incident.
He learnt that “REACTIONS GIVE REALITY”. He let a soiled trouser, nearly ruin his career that day and more importantly spoil relations with his family. He said what if that was the last time I was going to speak to my wife and children, would I want those words to be the last words they recall?
He said, his negative reactions brought only negativity to his environment that day, and that a positive action of quietly going and finding a trouser would have ended all that negativity from spreading. “If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with so many negative thoughts when I left home, probably I would have even remembered to take that file… who knows?”
Thus, to manage our reactions is to free us from a chain of negative thinking. Very often we bind ourselves with it. We would all be so much freer from all the negative thoughts that our mind entertains if only we manage our strong reactions to situations. See the travesty and the consequence of holding on to them. Remember, even the greatest of disasters, only become inspiring stories later on in our lives if we can climb out of it with a positive mindset.
Bramhachari Adarsh Chaitanya serves as the Resident Acharya of Chinmaya Mission Auckland and conducts weekly spiritual classes for children, youth and adults. For more information about the Chinmaya Mission and Bramhachari Adarsh Chaitanya please follow this link: www.chinmaya.org.nz or contact him on 2756954
One day a friend of mine was narrating how he had one of the worst days of his life where he nearly lost his job. It goes something like this… He was preparing his tea in the morning, and as he was going to the table with that hot cup of tea, he did not notice his wife’s cat shot by from under the...
One day a friend of mine was narrating how he had one of the worst days of his life where he nearly lost his job. It goes something like this… He was preparing his tea in the morning, and as he was going to the table with that hot cup of tea, he did not notice his wife’s cat shot by from under the table. Obviously startled by that, the hot cup of tea fell on his office trousers. It so happened his wife walked in at that moment. She was busy preparing the lunch boxes for the kids.
He immediately screamed at her for bringing that useless cat home. Now he had to go iron another pair of trousers for work, as there was an important presentation at work that day.
Being in a foul mood he could not find a suitable pair of pants and he kept screaming at his wife for not doing the washing, etc. She in turn started shouting at her two boys for taking time with their breakfast, as she had to clean up and go to work as well. Each time he would shout at her, she would shout at the boys, “you have not done your bed… the room is a pigsty… your earlier lunch is still there, etc.”
He finally huffed and puffed and kept shouting at everyone about how he was late due to the cat and how he had told that he doesn’t want an animal in the house, etc…Throughout the ride to the school the atmosphere in the car was either of an ere negative silence or if something was said it would be a scolding or a sarcastic comment.
The boys obviously reacted by showing an attitude by banging the car door as a sign of their discontentment. Even that spread more negative energy in the car between husband and wife. Since they were late to leave home that morning, they obviously met the rush hour traffic. As a result he was getting delayed even further. All this was working on his mind and his conversations with his wife sounded increasingly like World War III, where she felt he had no right to blame her for his sloppiness and that she was equally busy too.
After leaving her to work my friend had some time to himself but the traffic was really building stress in him. Finally, he reached work only half an hour before his meeting. As he was getting ready for it he realized that he had forgotten to save the updated file which he had worked on in the morning. Needless to say that realization shattered whatever little poise he had left. As a result, the meeting was less effective and hence his boss wasn’t at all impressed with him and threatened to relieve him from his duties.
I was so surprised to hear this story because I knew the person to be a positive man of great achievement. He then told me what he learnt from the incident.
He learnt that “REACTIONS GIVE REALITY”. He let a soiled trouser, nearly ruin his career that day and more importantly spoil relations with his family. He said what if that was the last time I was going to speak to my wife and children, would I want those words to be the last words they recall?
He said, his negative reactions brought only negativity to his environment that day, and that a positive action of quietly going and finding a trouser would have ended all that negativity from spreading. “If I hadn’t been so preoccupied with so many negative thoughts when I left home, probably I would have even remembered to take that file… who knows?”
Thus, to manage our reactions is to free us from a chain of negative thinking. Very often we bind ourselves with it. We would all be so much freer from all the negative thoughts that our mind entertains if only we manage our strong reactions to situations. See the travesty and the consequence of holding on to them. Remember, even the greatest of disasters, only become inspiring stories later on in our lives if we can climb out of it with a positive mindset.
Bramhachari Adarsh Chaitanya serves as the Resident Acharya of Chinmaya Mission Auckland and conducts weekly spiritual classes for children, youth and adults. For more information about the Chinmaya Mission and Bramhachari Adarsh Chaitanya please follow this link: www.chinmaya.org.nz or contact him on 2756954
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