Why Gen Z is ditching cafés for cemeteries

Some Millennials and Gen Z in some Indian cities are starting to use cemeteries instead of cafés for meeting people. Even though it may seem weird to do this, there is a reason behind it, and that is tiredness with the hyper-stimulation and performative nature of social interaction in today’s society.

Young people often find that traditional date locations (busy coffeehouses, shopping centers, or restaurants) are too loud, too costly, and full of things that take away from having a genuine conversation.

The reason for moving to a cemetery is the need for stillness. Cities in India are among the most densely populated and fast-paced cities in the world, and there are very few public spaces that are quiet and accessible.

Cemeteries provide quiet and open spaces where people can sit and not feel pressured to order something to eat or drink or to compete with loud music or chatter. The absence of commercial expectations enables conversations to occur more spontaneously and authentically than in areas that are commercialized.

There is also a psychological aspect to this choice. Environmental psychology studies show that people are more likely to be emotionally open and develop stronger interpersonal relationships when in quiet, less populated areas.

In an area that evokes reflective thoughts and mortality, people may be more inclined to talk about more profound topics than surface/useful talk. Since members of the Gen Z label themselves as those who value authenticity and openness, the cemetery setting supports this larger view of relational activity to Gen Z.

This trend is also a response to the performance-based nature of dating that has been enhanced by social media. Cafés and trendy locations serve as backdrops for developed online personae, where people experience as much as they document.

By selecting a cemetery, there is little incentive to photograph or tweet the experience, thus reducing the expectation of their performance. This allows for greater opportunity to be in the present with one another.

While this is not common practice, this type of experience highlights developing views related to privacy, space, and/or connection among young urban Indians.

Ultimately, this demonstrates the significant cultural shift that is occurring; as technology becomes more prevalent in our lives, the value of experiencing quiet and meaningful interaction continues to grow—even in the least likely of places.