In West Auckland, two Indian-Kiwi brothers are showing how a few hours a week can change a boy’s life, and strengthen an entire community. The two brothers are reshaping what it means to give back to Aotearoa.
Tapan and Donny Mukherji mentor teenage boys through Big Buddy, a New Zealand-based charity connecting young people without a father figure to positive male role models. What started as a simple act of giving back has grown into something bigger-building confidence, inspiring families, and even sparking corporate support for youth across Aotearoa.
“It all started when I was sitting in a cafe, scrolling LinkedIn," Tapan shared.
“I saw an advert looking for men willing to spend 2–3 hours a week with a boy without a dad in his life. I’m great with kids – I’m that guy who always ends up entertaining the kids at parties! I love playing cricket with them, playing music, making them laugh, so I knew this was something I’d be good at and I’d enjoy. It seemed the ideal way of giving back, for me,” Tapan added.
It wasn’t long before Tapan’s brother Donny joined Big Buddy alongside him. When Tapan shared his experience, it sparked reflection.
Photo: Mukerji family photo is the two brothers, with parents, children and wives/ Supplied
“After some introspection about not having kids myself, and Tapan already having two children of his own, I thought, hold on – I should be the one doing this,” Donny said.
The brothers emigrated from India as teenagers and now work in IT.
Both are now mentors to 13-year-old boys. Donny with Kaelen (name changed), who is of Chinese descent, and Tapan with Jayden, who is of Māori descent. Their families have also become involved, and their story has inspired wider support within both the Indian and corporate communities.
For Donny, committing to Big Buddy filled a space he hadn’t fully articulated.
“I threw myself into the whole process,” he said. “We have three fur babies, and our careers are going well. It was about what more could I do that would give me a sense of fulfilment? Big Buddy proved to be the answer I was looking for,” Donny added.
Both brothers quickly discovered that mentoring isn’t about grand gestures, but about consistency and connection.
“At first, I wondered, ‘what am I supposed to be doing with my Little Buddy?’ I thought I should be going kayaking, rock climbing or doing full-on activities every time we met,” Donny said.
“Then I got to the point where I realised it’s just about spending the time with them.”
“You can discover a lot on a 15-minute car drive. You realise it’s less about what you feel you’re ‘supposed to’ be doing and more that mentoring or coaching come as a natural consequence of the relationship.”
Tapan echoes that learning.
“I’ve found it’s less about mentoring or coaching, intentionally, and more about being yourself, just being with that young person and having fun together. And that’s what I love.”
The impact of that consistency is clear.
A keen musician, Tapan bonded early with his Little Buddy over music. When Jayden first sat at his drum kit, the moment stunned him.
“So, when Jayden came over and played on the drum kit for the first time, I assumed he must have played before. Pretty much straight away, he was able to play a song he’d heard in the past. I was blown away! He’s literally gifted. I felt like, wow, compared to me, he’s the pro!”
Jayden’s confidence has also translated onto the sports field, earning him a full scholarship to a local college for his athletic ability.
“I tell him I’ll keep kicking a ball with him, but only if he promises me, he’ll make it to the NRL!”
For Kaelen, the changes have been quieter but no less significant. Donny’s wife Jenny has observed the subtle shifts over 18 months.
“We have seen the incremental differences in Kaelen’s development over the past year and a half,” she said.
“His mum said he’s not scared to go to sleep on his own in his room anymore and he’s not been getting into any altercations at school. He’s been learning new skills and looking after himself. It’s been wonderful to witness.”
Jenny’s observations inspired her to nominate Big Buddy for Coca-Cola’s Support My Cause initiative, which supports charities meaningful to staff. Her pitch resonated across the company, resulting in a $10,500 donation.
Big Buddy CEO Christie Stuart said, “These funds will have such a big impact to fuel the recruiting and screening of more Big Buddies for our boys.”
With more than 100 boys currently waiting to be matched, the Mukherji brothers hope their story inspires others to step forward.
“Everybody involved gets something out of this. It’s an amazing experience, which deserves to be enjoyed by more people. I hope more men get into it like we have,” Donny said.
Tapan agrees.
“Whether it’s simply kicking a ball around, doing a barbecue or going for a drive and a chat, you can be literally changing lives; not just your Little Buddy’s life, but the lives of their family, your family and your own life too.”