Disclaimer: Views expressed are solely those of the author.
Places we Belong to
As a child, one of my favourite pastimes was to read an atlas. I could spend hours with it! I was fascinated by maps, and finding new places, while discovering routes from one destination to another. As I grew up, my love for maps graduated to being in some of those places. And I realised who we are, is so much about what our places are.
The Māori Pepeha is a way of introducing ourselves with places that are important to us. It tells who we are by sharing our connections with our people and places. Our greeting, our mountain, river or sea, our place, our name, and family name. Here's my Pepeha. Share yours below.
The Settlement Curve
Have you heard about the Settlement Curve when arriving to a new country? It goes through a phase of discovery, starting from fun to fit. Fun starts with the excitement of being in a new place. Followed by fright, triggered by an unpleasant experience or from missing home. In a few months, there comes a dilemma - flight or to fight. This is the real test phase and having a support network, in friends, colleagues, mentors, decides whether to go back or to settle down. Finally comes fitting in. Bringing together one's whole self, embracing the new. Read more about the Settlement Curve here.
Also Read: Navigating No Kiwi Experience... No Local Experience...Pt 1
Joining the Belonging Conversation
I have worked in advertising and television. With BBDO Worldwide, Ogilvy and The Walt Disney Company. Advertising or any form of popular expression of art, are tools or medium that create collective memory and cultural conditioning, leading to societal integration. Sports, Cinema, Politics... contribute to form behaviour and values within a community. Among the various things I did to understand the new country, its people, was to look up for memorable expressions, iconic moments in Kiwi television and advertising.
The iconic Goodnight Kiwi animation from TVNZ
The ‘Goodnight Kiwi’, by animator Sam Harvey, appeared every night at the end of transmission on Television New Zealand between 1976 and 1994, and is a much-loved part of the country's cultural fabric. The tune is a popular lullaby 'Hine e hine', written by Fanny Rose Howie. Click here to watch.
Source: teara.govt.nz or read more about Goodnight Kiwi here.
Mitre 10 ad from 2012, "You're Dreaming".
This is one of my favourite ads from Mitre 10, made in 2012, "You're Dreaming". An example of a Kiwi Do-It-Yourself banter, while taking a soft dig at the Aussies!
Click here to watch.
Some of NZ's top television moments of all time are listed here.
Stories of Belonging
Every person moving to a new country, has their versions of cruising the Settlement Curve, discovering their journey to belong to a new place. I invited some Kiwi As New Kiwis to my audio chat to share their stories of belonging. Here are some of them.
Profile photos of Bharat, Larry, Giri, Umesh, Anitha.
Bharat Chawla: It is not an easy thing. You must start off again. From the outside, people thought my life is smooth, but they could not see the struggle, the journey is always a bumpy ride. It is important to be confident, knock on every possible door, go out there and communicate openly. It takes a couple of years to get people across the line.
Larry Goldfarb: Spend some time in the area to plan where you will settle, especially if you have family, where the kids could walk to school, good neighbourhoods. I know someone with international double masters in their field say, it is more important to be well-networked and know people from within the industry. It is common for older women expats, with high credentials, to find it difficult to get roles that match their expectations.
Giri Prashanth: Listening to every expat journey is like going through my own once again. There are assumptions that one must break through. I came here on a project and loved the place. We decided to make this our new home. Moving a country is not just about myself, I was responsible for my partner too, who had to restart her career. Finding acceptance, not being branded over-qualified is a real challenge and we need more people to shake the boat and change things to create that space.
Umesh Raaj: I came as an international student and realised soon enough that most of the learning happens outside the classroom and coping with the overall change. It is a process of unlearning and relearning about people, cultures.
Dr Anitha Ranganathan: When I started looking for jobs here, I remember making a folder for all the jobs I applied for, to keep a record of how many. 5 years down, things have progressed for me. I think what is important here is to have the right connections. To reach out. Go beyond a paper CV.
Profile photos of Jessie, Himanshu, Peter, Lavinia, Lea
Jessie Liu: I am originally from Taiwan, married to a German-Kiwi, and living in NZ for more than 20 years. I have an interesting culture-mix not just in my professional front, but also at home. When you understand the local humour, consider yourself a local too!
Himanshu (ash) Parmar: Whoever moves to a new country must soldier on and not give up. The initial years are always very hard, but it gets better.
Peter Elbourne: I came to New Zealand as an 18-year-old student. It's important to have a plan, I had mine. I took a gap year, did my overseas experience, saved, and paid back my student loan early. I was lucky to have people who took me in until I found my own place. From there on it's been a splendid journey. I have worked across many countries, but this is where I come home to.
Lavinia Thanapathy: I live in Germany, originally from Singapore. Home for me is always about people, it's never home until there are people, I feel connected with. It's important when moving countries, to find connections, become a part of the local communities and encourage the children to join some groups too, so they feel integrated in their schools. Learning to speak the local language also helps to open many doors.
Lea Jean Leopold: I moved from Singapore to Germany, I would be surprised to hold long, high level conversations about all sorts of things with complete strangers, stopping at the traffic light. But I gradually accepted it and realised it is about understanding how things work in a place. People generally are helpful and there is a lot of kindness when you are least expecting it.
Annie Huang: Moving back to New Zealand, I am still finding my feet to build a network of people I can have conversations with. This community is very welcoming, and I will be leveraging it to rebuild my network here.
Lalit Goyal: It takes that one person to give a newcomer to a country their first chance, and see the favour being returned. I am a pie chef in Central Otago, and I will not blow on my (secret recipe of) pie, but will share an awesome Paneer Butter Masala recipe instead.
Akash Padal: I am a software developer and thoroughly enjoy living in NZ. I can exchange notes on where to find the best Indian food that tastes more like home.
Jennifer Henslee-Hoole: I am married to a Kiwi, we live in the US. Understanding culture and the nuances of it, is not possible unless we immerse in it completely. I took time to understand what a Kiwi Ya-Nah means - it is a 'NO', but a soft 'no'.
Yeah, nah!
Kiwis are exceptionally agreeable, so even when they want to disagree with you, they'll throw in a "yeah" as well.
Basically, "yeah, nah" is a non-committal way of saying no.
As in: "Do you want to go for a hike this weekend?" "Yeah, nah, I'll think about it ay."
Profile photos of Paul, George, Georgia, Cyndilu, Tristan
Paul Spain: Being a Kiwi is unique to each person. We do value our family time, our leisure time. What is common is our love for Aotearoa, New Zealand.
Nathan Mercer: I am a Kiwi in Seattle, and I get my dose of Whittaker's Chocolate delivered - that's part of my care package from home.
George Li: I am an Electrical Engineer with, I have a little bit of New Zealand with me in USA too, in my ration of Whittaker's!
Georgia Wang: I am a real estate agent in Auckland, the Kiwi Yeah-Nah to me is giving people a little bit of hope before the split-second decision change to a no!
Cyndilu Miller: I called New Zealand home as soon as I landed here. This is where I belong. I am a Kiwi.
Tristan Bailey: I started networking even before I moved, started making friends. I started a new hobby, to get involved with the community. I now live between Brighton and Köln, there are so many stories I could share!
Also Read: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion & Belonging
Christmas in July
They say when you sing Christmas in July, you rush the season. In the southern hemisphere, you don’t rush it. You simply celebrate it twice. I was invited to a mid-winter Christmas dinner in July by a Kiwi-British couple a few years back. I had recently moved to New Zealand then. There was Christmas décor, music, mulled wine. And a delicious, creamy venison pie. We greeted each other merry Christmas too.
Coming from the northern hemisphere, did it feel odd? I don’t think so, as we could recreate the Christmas feel in our small get together. Because it is about people and how you are made to feel.
In Kolkata, my hometown, Christmas is more than a religious celebration. It is celebratory. A festival of togetherness and belonging, beyond religion. We have Christmas markets, and lights, and food stalls set up in the busiest thoroughfare of the city blocking it for vehicles for the day. Buying a rich, plum cake from a Jewish bakery is a ritual and people from across the city queue up for it.
In spinning stories of Christmas from around the world, bringing a little bit of there to here and making it our own, we create our in-between space. A space where we feel we belong.
If you enjoyed reading this article, don't forget to stop by in comments to share your story of moving countries and embracing a new culture.
Moumita Das Roy is a cross-industry marketer with a wealth of marketing and communications experience in iconic global organisations. Connect with Moumita on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moumitadasroy/ or email her dasroymo@gmail.com
Disclaimer: Views expressed are solely those of the author.