I am not an avid follower of TV shows but one of my favourite series is Sex And The City. Given the power, I would ensure that sassy Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) would win the trophy of “Most Well Dressed and Empowering Woman on TV ever”. I managed to catch up on a few episodes lately, and it made me realise how her potent character is so relevant and in sync with women even today.
“Listen to me. The right guy is an illusion. Start living your lives.”
“I don’t believe in marriage; now Botox on the other hand, works every time.”
“I love you… but I love me more. I have been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s the one I need to work on.”
Many women would resonate with the aforementioned quotes by Samantha. She portrays womanhood in a bold manner and eliminates the need of a man from her life. I have beautiful and successful girlfriends who choose to be single for a raft of reasons.
So what happened to the typical mush loving girl dreaming of Jane Eyre romance?
Finding the right guy is definitely challenging, but it is also the unwillingness to give up one’s independence, which has driven a considerable increase in the forever single woman also termed as ‘freemales’.
Interesting term, right?
As per the Urban Dictionary, a freemale is “an independent, modern woman who is happier living a fulfilling single life than actively pursuing romantic relationships.
"Some freemales are open to partnering with someone who fits into their busy lives but doesn’t actively pursue romantic relationships. A freemale is a professional woman who is single and genuinely loves it.”
Freemales have the advantages to enjoy life-enriching experiences. They do not give up their Friday nights flumped on a sofa while watching their man kicking Barcelona’s ass over a game of FIFA.
Their planner does not include obligatory visits to in-laws, humdrum grocery shopping scenarios, or preparing meals in the kitchen.
While many of us still enjoy such aforementioned advantages despite being married or may not even look at them as disadvantages, freemales choose not to risk their desire for a burdened lifestyle.
The bittersweet taste of success changes a lot in a woman’s world. Contrary to the notion that a successful woman has a number of ‘options’, her struggle to find the right one is hard.
She certainly looks for a man who would be able to compliment her financial status. And if that's a checkbox ticked, she fears that her professional opportunities would be impeded by personal commitment. She would rather wake up in the morning for an ambitious challenge.
Perhaps, freemales never encountered the right man who acts as a great support system and backs their dreams wholeheartedly.
Thanks to movies, for introducing us to the idea of ‘Mr Right’ and ‘The One’ that has led some females to suffer from not-finding-the-one syndrome. The list of prerequisites in Mr Right is long, making her pickier than ever. They will not settle for just anyone, and they are willing to wait for it as long as it may take.
The idea of self-marriage
A woman’s willingness to live a self-sufficient and fulfilling life introduced our progressive society to the idea of ‘self-marriage’. It was noticed and appreciated quite largely when Grace Gelder's self-marriage was reported by the Guardian in 2014.
It is a commitment of one to themselves, their compassion, and their self-love. The ceremonies take place exactly like any other wedding. Some outlets even have special packages for single brides, which includes a cake, hair-dresser, wedding dress, and a photographer.
Grace Gelder's Self Marriage
With legitimate laws in place against abuse, well-paying jobs, birth control procedures, and an aspiration to lead a successful career, some women find it best to sweep the idea of marriage aside. Additionally, the social structure allows her to live in and have it all with a partner while enjoying her singlehood without stigma. While many of us enjoy the idea of a loving family life and being married, it is also a revolutionary time that empowers females to flourish without walking down the aisle.